My life is wonderful, but it has had its difficulties, it is supposed to be hard. I am the recipient of miracles and grace beyond my understanding however, my perfect path is still a bumpy ride.
As of now, I have a health problem that can cause extreme pain. I will spare you the gross details. However, I want to share an event that took place during a period in which, I had been worn down.
During this, I had a teenaged son who loved me, but when I could I shielded him from the difficulties that we faced. He had no idea how bad this was. He depended on me and any physical movement I made incited pain. I managed to hide ER visits from him, and he seemed to think that I was, mostly just being lazy. His ignorance was my bliss and a burden as he was the only person I could rightfully use as an emergency contact. With my older two kids in other parts of the country It looked like all we had was each other.
This was the strategy I used to keep us afloat. I took pain medication to get through my workday. I was intent on not being enslaved by opioids. So, after work and on my days off I laid still every moment that I could.
When I was not medicated, I would get up to complete simple tasks and then lay down. This was hard but the suffering gave me time to just be still with my lord. Through this I grew.
Somedays I just could not make it to work, money was low. I became grateful for every meal and day that the lights were on. I sweated the first of the month. Paying the rent was a treat because I had learned that God had given me the strength to get it done. This was a faulty strategy, but my faith was growing. I was scared but I should not have been.
One day, I was feeling a bit stronger and managed to both wash the dishes and get a bath. There was a minor amount of improvement in my ability to function. Not enough for me to notice. Fear still had its grip.
As I headed back to my bed something massive happened. I reached the foot of my bed as if it was a finish line and heard a roar of cheers. Like when I was a child all of heaven opened and all the Saints, God and Jesus were watching over me, rooting for me.
This roar was in the spirt realm and more real than any performer on earth could experience. There is no stadium on this earth that could hold such a crowd of supporters. It was a lot to handle as I had just realized that I had forgotten to brush my teeth when I bathed. I was shaken at my core, overwhelmed.
My Glorious Father, Creator of All explained this experience to me. With a chuckle in his voice, he said four words. “You completed two tasks.” He was so proud of me. In my human mindset, I had not realized that I had made an improvement. But all of heaven did.
I suffer sometimes still and have periods where I am worn. But I learned to let that gush of love radiate. He never left me, never.
I now know the truth that my time in this body is temporary, but my accomplishments are eternal.
Here is the thing: If a woman who was born into satanism, poverty, ignorance, collected three baby daddies, and earned a bad credit rating, can make heaven roar with such a minor accomplishment, what can we do as a unit.
The Kingdom of Heaven is just that glorious!
Let’s keep Heaven roaring!
Love it!!! I never imagined things being so hard for you. I am so sorry. What a fighting spirit you display. But everything I have read from you has been uplifting and a glory to God, despite the dark and painful truths. God is truly so merciful.
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He told me once. That he made me defiant.
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So encouraged by what He is doing for His children.
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