I was a good girl, whiney but good.
During a time of ritual abuse, I refused to renounce Jesus despite torture. I tried once but failed to convince anyone that I meant it. I was a bad liar and a tough little Girl. Still, on my own I was a punching bag, moving in response to each blow. My goodness was just not good enough. Imperfect is still wrong.
Here are some things that I learned:
- The Occult uses a person’s imperfect goodness against them.
I was facing a prepared opponent. The abusers used old and well-practiced techniques. These techniques allow them to turn a person’s own since of right and wrong against them.
I was intent on doing what my parents said to do. That is what I thought a good girl did. Yet, as I stood at a doorway my mother encouraged me to go into a dark room. All of heaven urged me to run. They used my need to obey my mother’s wishes against me. I detail this interaction in Chapter 2, of “Refusing the Occult.”
They also used my father’s goodness against him. On the night that I was to be introduced to their way of life, my mother snuck me out of the apartment right in front of my dad. It was a late-night event, as usual. A woman arrived to pick me up and my father refused for me to go. My mother told my father that the meeting that She promised that I could attend had been delayed and that she could not go back on her word just because they had been delayed.
This use of good ness was a constant during my time of abuse.
- We do not know what perfect is.
This is why we do not always get what we pray for. One could pray for the survival of a sick child not knowing that going home might be what is best for the child.
People often pray for God to change another person behavior. That does not work. Because he allows is to make our own decisions. He also will allow us to pay the consequences for our actions. He is a perfect father and holds us while we learn. His ways are mysterious to us because we do not know what perfect is. We can not even see around the corner and he knows everything.
- All of heaven waits to guide us to our perfect path.
I do not always listen or respond to their words. But in the times that I do great things are set before me. Following my conscious, voice of God has led me to a place of safety and plenty that I needed to serve God.
The old testament told stories about people who knew this. They had been promised that a Man would be born one day who could teach them how to be perfect. Jesus was born, died, and was resurrected. In all the stories he reflects the truth that I have seen active in my life. He taught while he walked the earth and then he left the Holy Spirit with us.
Having communication with God is handy in all situations. As a person sees that God is moving in a perfect direction, they begin to get a view of heaven and an understanding that this life is plasticky. I have seen a view of Goodness that has convinced me that I must follow the voice of God in all things.