Recovering memories can cause harm. But only if a person does it alone.
Some people have even formed alternate personalities to handle what they were remembering. That did not happen to me. With God, I managed to come through this process in better condition that I ever imagined. For the first time I can say that I Love my life.
This process began when I addressed unexplained pain and dysfunction. I was a long-time codependent that never felt safe. No matter what, I always felt fear.
In the beginning of the process I did not associate any of this with ritual abuse. But, when I focused on my childhood, I realized that I had memories that did not make since. For instance, I remembered seeing someone have a seizure, while remaining in a standing position. There was a lot of things that did not make since. The one that spun my head the fastest was remembering memorizing The Lords Prayer without having read it.
God showed me that when things do not add up there is missing information. So, I accepted that I had blocked out events from my childhood.
I am no better than those who form other personalities. I did however manage to pray and let God lead me in the process and as always, he taught and protected me.
Here are some things that I learned:
- God is a requirement.
Without him I am a target. With him I am safe and guided. I have all the power that is needed to secure safety.
- The easier memories are recovered first.
They get harder as the process develops. When I started, I was praying but as time passed, I developed the ability to pray without ceasing.
- I only focused on the painful memories during a scheduled period.
I scheduled two hours a day to focus on the memories. This gave me the ability to function normally throughout my workday. I started and ended each session with prayer.
- Do not tell anyone, for a while.
I told my son that I was dedicating two hours a day to prayer. He thought I was being lazy. That worked out in the end because he now understands. If a person starts ranting about recovered memories before they have found a sense of closure, they can seem unreliable.This is just for a time. Now is a good time in history for people to talk about this. It only takes an internet search to find that there are many of us. Sharing our healing is important. The occult is not all powerful. God however is.
Some say that we never completely recover. In a big way this is true. Just when I thought that I was done God showed me that there were more events that I needed to deal with. In any case I will spend the rest of my life rejoicing.